Is it just me, or has the internet created a fascination with Top 10 Lists?
I know David Letterman probably started the ball rolling, and the supermarket tabloids are full of them, but it seems that hardly a day goes by that I don’t see a blog post of the Top 10 Somethings.
Some of them are okay, but by and large most of them are pretty useless. (Top 10 “Yo Mama” Jokes? I’m not even kidding…I saw this one the other day)
The other day I saw the Top 10 List of Top 10 Lists.
Come on…that’s just stupid (and lazy).
So my post today is:
The Top 10 Annoying Things About Top 10 Lists
10. Ridiculous celebrity crap;
It scares me that people actually care about the Top 10 Eating Habits or Fashion Mistakes of Actors and Athletes. I see these lists as contributions to the dumbing-down of America.
9. Extending the list to make it easy;
I saw a list of the 50 best Led Zeppelin songs. Off the top of my head I don’t know how many songs The Mighty Zeppelin has, but let’s see…8 studio albums with maybe 9 songs per album (average) is about 72 songs. So you list the top 50? That must have been tough. A top 10 list would have been annoying, but at least it would have been a challenge.
8. Unverified Information;
Just because you read it on the internet doesn’t make it true – so before you post a list of the Top 10 Stupidest Laws – make sure that it is indeed illegal in Nebraska to have sex with your best friend’s horse while he is at church.
7. Nobody Cares;
This is in the same vein as #10 – but without the celebrity factor. If you’re going to write a Top 10 List…make it about something that people care about – not the Top 10 Ways to Fold Socks.
6. It’s Been Done…and Done;
We’ve seen the list of Top 10 Movies, Books, Songs and Videos so many times that our unborn grandchildren know them by heart…come up with something different.
5. That’s What You Think;
Any Top 10 List that deals strictly with the writer’s opinion is worthless to me (which casts a pretty large net). At least the Top 10 Brands of Cat Litter can be quantified if necessary…but your Top 10 Ways to Turn Used Coffee Grounds into Cash may not be my cup of tea.
4. Read This or Live the Rest of Your Pathetic, Empty Life in Misery;
Top 10 Lists may be entertaining and help pass time in the bathroom, but I have yet to see one that was nearly as important as the writer thinks it is. I will survive nicely without knowing the Top 10 Ways to Trim Nose Hair, thank you very much.
3. Well, If You Say So;
Sometimes it isn’t the list that annoys me; it’s the attitude of the writer. This is THE list of the Top 10 Best Wallpaper Removers in the world – so there’s no need to look further.
2. Yeah, If I Was on a Desert Island, That’s What I’d Be Worried About;
When John Cusak did it in the movie High Fidelity it was entertaining…but telling me what your Top 10 Desert Island Albums/Books/Movies are is beyond ridiculous. Ignoring the fact that your desert island would need electricity in order for you to enjoy them – wouldn’t you be more concerned with bigger issues…like eating or perhaps getting off the damn island?
And the Number One Thing that Annoys Me About Top 10 Lists is…
1. You Needed a Blog Post and Couldn’t Think of Anything Original to Write About;
Ummm – whaddya say we just skip this one…
As always, thank you for reading