Step Right Up – I’ll Make You Rich

“Now I’ve been travelin’ all around, I heard trouble’s come to your town, I’ve got a little somethin’, guaranteed to ease your mind…It’s called Snake Oil y’all, it’s been around for a long, long time” ~Steve Earle

I began writing my first novel in April, 2007 and by January, 2008 I had a completed manuscript, but no idea what to do with it.

Naturally, I googled publishing and found a plethora of information about the publishing world, and after more than a year’s worth of research my novel, Living the Dream, was released in August, 2009. Living the Dream

All’s well that ends well, right?

For me – yes, but only because of my innate lack of trust in sales-people…for among all of the information which helped me take my dream to the next level, there was also a…what’s bigger than a plethora?…a glut of web sites and blogs offering…no – promising…to give me what I needed to become a successful author.

It was overwhelming.

Depending on how much money I was willing to part with, I could have access to secrets, tips and techniques that would have me on the couch with Oprah, hanging in the Hamptons with Nelson DeMille and playing poker with James Patterson before I could dot an i.

At first I was tempted, and, I admit, I did click through on some of the free ones. There were some that offered legitimate writing tips about story structure, editing, formatting and such which I bookmarked and still visit.

However…there were many (and I do mean MANY) that made some pretty big promises, such as;

For the bargain basement price of $179 dollars I could learn what it takes to become a best-selling author.

For only $349 I could hire a marketing consultant that would promote my novel to tens-of-thousands of potential readers.

salesman (2)And, one of my favorites, for only $799 I could attend a seminar in South Carolina and get first-hand advice from several industry experts about how to turn my novel into a screenplay.

These are only a few of the hundreds of sites I encountered and I’m sure there are thousands more. Fortunately I was skeptical enough to avoid them.

Why did I avoid them, you ask?

Well, as I said, at first it was tempting, but then I remembered something my mother has been drilling into me since I was old enough to listen…If it seems too good to be true, it is.

It’s perfectly natural for first-time authors to believe that they will not be able to spend their royalty money fast enough, and I hope every one of you, regardless of how many books you’ve written, enjoys such success, but remember one thing…in the words of Ringo Starr…It Don’t Come Easy.

Unless you hit the cosmic lottery, you will more than likely make little more than gas money for several years, most of which will be reinvested in your next book. Many of you will lose money; this is a cold, hard fact.

Surely, if it were that easy to become the next Stephen King, there would be dozens of Kings, and probably some Queens, out there already.

So don’t add to the misery (see what I did there?) by wasting money on snake oil.snake oil

Allow me to give you a nickel’s worth of free advice…when you see those google ads promising to make you an instant success…ignore them. There are plenty of free blogs and websites for authors that will offer legitimate advice on everything from punctuation to promotion. If you want to spend money, buy a reputable book or look into classes at a bona-fide educational facility.

If this hasn’t convinced you to save your money…I’ll be glad to sell you a copy of the Blindogg Method for Overnight Sensations for only $249. Guaranteed to make you rich and famous, cure irregularity and get your teeth whiter than the driven snow.

Call now…operators are standing by.

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “Step Right Up – I’ll Make You Rich

  1. hahaha . . . what was that number again??? LOL, you’re preaching to the choir with me friend 🙂 I am a true advocate for self-published authors – hoping them to avoid the vultures circling overhead :O

  2. oops . . “hoping to HELP them avoid . . . “

  3. One vulture feasted through his irresistible offer to ‘give the secrets’ to screenwriting. To me and 600 others in the theatre. I left with more understanding of the reason all popular movies follow a formula. The man was adamant if you don’t follow the formula, your work won’t be picked up. I left feeling sad about that since I believe in creativity, novelty and surprise.

    I did take one piece of his advice: he suggested mashing genres. I now mash topics and write about the conflict management of living joyously after a rare cancer and double mastectomy without reconstruction. The joy of breastlessness made easy with conflict competence. So it wasn’t a complete waste of time.

    If nothing else, you did get a great post out of it 🙂
    Thanks for summing it up so well.

  4. Aw, this was an incredibly good post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to generate a really good article… but what can
    I say… I procrastinate a lot and don’t manage to get anything done.

  5. Pingback: The ins and outs of being a writer … | Books: Publishing, Reading, Writing

  6. Love it. I really enjoyed Living the Dream. It was such a fun read. I also like your writing style and am glad I signed up for your blog. See you soon
    hugs
    heidi

  7. Pingback: Step Right Up – I’ll Make You Rich | Palmcoastnow's Blog

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